Working with what you’ve got.

Man For Himself ForumWorking with what you’ve got. asked 3 years ago

So this is more of a perspective, self image note I experienced that I wanted to share. Long story short, I was in a relationship for 5 years and she broke up with me out of nowhere. I went a little crazy because we work together and I wanted her back and I went overboard with hair products and skin products to try to impress her. I was wearing tinted moisturizers that were more tan than was natural for my skin and things like toppik to thicken my hair even though I’m not even losing it, excessive amounts of hairspray and clay pomades etc. And all of that excess literally only displayed my insecurities.  I started to notice little comments about my appearance that weren’t disparaging but certainly not a compliment either and I even noticed people looking around my head area instead of in my eyes as if they were inspecting something that was ‘off’. As I slowly let go of pursuing a reunion and started focusing on myself, I started to feel silly about the amount of money and time I was wasting just to go to work every day.  I let a lot of the products fall to the wayside and started using things that were more natural looking for my general aesthetic and vibe.  I started using a drug store sea salt spray and a little Claymation instead of a bunch of unnatural thickeners and heavy hold sprays, I let my hair do what it wanted to do a little more. I found a skin regimen that was affordable and worked with my complexion instead of trying to be tanner.  And in the end, I felt way better about myself and almost overnight the world started to interpret me differently.  Now I’m on a whole new path in life that I had always shied away from and I’m finding some initial success.

So in the end, remember that all of these products are amazing and should be used if they work for you, but nothing replaces the natural attractiveness of someone who is comfortable with who they are and willing to focus on what makes them special instead of trying to create something artificially special.
I’d also like to thank Robin for more than just his product advice. His way of being and watching his growth was an inspiration for me in many ways.  He reminded me about the special confidence it takes to accept what creates a lack of confidence within you and finding a way to work with it. Beyond that, watching MFH grow from his bedroom in his parents house to where it is now has inspired me to know that preparation and work in my own field (music) could grow as well and it’s funny how the serendipity of effort really does open doors you didn’t think could open.

Good luck out there guys. We all share more than we realize and I’m happy this forum was created.

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Phobos replied 3 months ago

I have a different way. I imagine life as an MMO game – I play with the character I got and develop it

fez replied 3 years ago

Thank you, this is something I’ve recently come to terms with myself. I applaud your honesty.

1 Answers
Robin James Staff answered 2 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing. 
You have nailed this in one. So important to be comfortable in your own skin. Thank you again.